labyrinths in the brain...

Cleocat Spree 1 (closed and ordered)

2009-01-07T15:50:55Z

I need at least 15 items to get the wholesale rates. Get cheap CNY clothes here!
Feedback: [+8/-0]

Terms and conditions:

1) I do not take in an order if there's no payment by the time I close the spree.
2) I have the right to cancel the spree if the response is low.
3) I will not be responsible if supplier ships the wrong item or items are damaged during shipping.
4) Refunds will be made within 3 days if your item is out of stock.
5) Meet ups are at my convenience. If you cannot make it to the mass meet-up, please opt for post.
6) I will not be responsible for lost mail. I will provide you with the tracking number (in cases of registered mail), place, date, time of postage as soon as I have posted your item.
7) Please do not join the spree if you are not comfortable with these terms.

Website: http://cleocat-fashion.com/

Spree Cap: at least 15 items

Deadline: 9 January 2008, 9pm

Contact: midnight underscore pearl85 at hotmail dot com

ATM transfers allowed (please state reference number, time, date).

1 Payments: 1 payment to include postage from Cleocat to me, Cleocat charges $1 for postage per item. Add postage from my house to you. (please look at postage rates below)

Exchange rate: prices all quoted in SGD

Distribution: Post or meet ups. If you cannot make it for the mass meetups, please opt for posts. As approved by the moderators, items not collected after 3 weeks upon arrival will be at my disposal.

Post: Spree-ers will get normal postage unless they opt of registered mail which will require additional payment. Additional payment will be based on the weight of their items. I will provide you with the tracking number (in cases of registered mail), place, date, time of postage as soon as I have posted your item.

Meet ups: 1 mass meet up. Hougang MRT station (Time and date to be confirmed).

Normal postage for lightweight items like tops/shorts will be $1 each. For dresses/pants/ jackets please pay $2.

Shipping: Add $1 PER ITEM for shipping of Cleo Cat to my house. It takes at most 3 business days for me to receive the items.

Limitations of spree items:
1) No pre-orders, only ready stock. I don't want the whole shipment to be delayed.
2) I'm purchasing the credit to be able to buy 15 pieces of any design. I may accept orders after 15items. However, if the order overshoots my available online credit I will reject the order.

Updates: Updates will be done via mass email to spree participants.

Updates to be done:
1) when spree closes and I've ordered the items. Will include a spreadsheet of spree-ers and the item breakdown. Please allow up to 3 days after spree closure for me to consolidate the information.
2) Weekly updates will be provided.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Order Format:
LJ username/ real name
Email address:
Bank details: (name of bank, type of account, especially for interbank transfers)

Order item 1
Name:
URL:
Colour: Shade 1/ Shade 2
Size:
Qty:
Alternatives: (either different colour, different item or DNB)
Price in SGD:
Shipping charged by Cleo cat: ($1 per item, but some items come with free postage)

Order item 2 (and so on)

Total number of items: (please count two if you are getting 2 of the same item)
Total price in SGD +total shipping charges by Cleo Cat + Postage from my house to you
Payment
I-banking name:
Amount transferred:
Transaction reference:

Or for ATM transfers
Amount transferred:
Transaction reference:
Time: (must include time and date!!)

Please include all information in 1 (ONE) comment. For atm transfers, please delete your old post and post a new one to include both your ATM transfer details and your order.

kendra_zeng @ 2008-12-30T19:42:00

2008-12-30T11:50:23Z

Funny how people turn to blogging when one is unhappy or in an emotional turmoil. I havent blogged for such a long time and yet, now, having no where else to turn to. I came back here. I've tried writing on paper, thinking that it might be more private, but my handwriting sux nowadays.

I do miss him even though I refuse to say it. I feel like there's no emotional support when he's not around. Like today when I'm angry with the bunch of guys. I have to hold myself back to that I dont complain to him. But seriously, I feel like I've been taken advantage of when so many things pile up. I volunteer so many things and yet some how the efforts were not recognised and not appreciated. And people are just being people.

I know things are cryptic now. Perhaps later when I come back to read this, I cant remember what I'm talking about either.

Nowadays... I just dont know what is happening and I dont know what to do either.

BB cream Skinfood, Innisfree Spree #1--Open

2008-06-23T03:01:02Z

Supplier spree. No restriction of items including mist/ spray items. No waiting items will reach Singapore on 28th June.
Feedback: [+5/-0] My 2nd spree in this community.

#1: Gingko Green BB Cream
Functions: A moisturizing base made with the essential ingredients of green tea, ginkgo leaf, Vitamin B and lecithin for nutritional benefits to the skin. Provides light coverage. Suitable for all skin types.
Usage: Apply evenly before applying foundation
Price: $25
Retailing in Sg: $31.20 and currently out of stock

#2: Skinfood Aloe Sun BB cream SPF 20 PA (50g)
Functions: A skin-care and make-up in one, this cream leaves your skin feeling moisturized while it corrects your skin tone. Your complexion looks naturally air-brushed, clear and fresh! Rich with aloe, it excellently soothes skin and provides moisture. Also contains SPF 20!
Usage: apply as a foundation or as a base before your foundation
Price: $30
Retailing in Sg: $38 and currently out of stock
Available in 2 tones: tone 1 for fair skin, tone 2 for medium to tanned skin

#3: Skinfood Mushroom BB cream SPF 20 (50g)
Functions: Functions as a make-up and skin-care in one. Acts as a foundation that covers blemishes and evens out skin tone. BB Creams are known to increase skin regeneration. Has Whitening, Sun Protection and Anti-Ageing properties!
Usage: apply as a foundation or as a base before foundation
Price: $50
Retailing in Sg: $65 and out of stock
Available in 2 tones: tone 1 for fair skin, tone 2 for medium/ tanned skin

Innisfree products: Innisfree is currently one of the most popular brand for makeup and skincare in Korea, featuring plant based products. I don't believe it is currently available in Singapore yet, but I have tried their products and I really liked it. The BB series are currently featured in this month's (July 2008) Korean issue of Vogue Girl.

#4: Innisfree oil free BB mousse SPF 30 (70g)
Functions: Unlike all other BB creams this is totally oil free and as a mousse it is very lightweight. Provides light coverage and very much suitable for hot summer/ humid weather like in Singapore. I have tried this personally and I love it because it is so lightweight, you dont feel it on your skin at all. At the end of the day you dont have to touch up much either because it is oil free. However its coverage is lighter so if you have very deep pimple scars it wouldnt provide enough coverage.
Usage:

Squeeze a little amount onto the palm of your hand and apply evenly. Can be use as a base or by itself.
Price: $45

#5: Innisfree BB cream for troubled skin (35ml)
Functions: Providing coverage while healing troubled skin like pimples underneath. Provides better coverage than the mousse.
Price: $30

#6: Innisfree watery care BB cream (35ml)
Functions: Provides deep moisturising protection while covering your blemishes. Suitable for dry skin types. My friend tried this and it really feels very nice and smooth. Not watery or sticky. Ideal for girls who keep staying in the air conditioned office.

Price: $30

#7: Innisfree Wine Peeling Softener (140ml)
Functions: Made out of 70ml of guaranteed wine and rose extracts, this is a effective skin softener. It removes dead skin cells on the surface of your skin leaving your skin soft and bright. I have tried it and love the effects. Helps to lighten old pimple scars by leaving the new skin.
Usage: Pour a little on a piece of cotton pad and apply it on your face (like you apply your toner) and the dead skin cells will be removed.
Price: $35

Terms and conditions:

1) I do not take in an order if there's no payment by the time I close the spree.
2) I have the right to cancel the spree if the response is low.
3) I will not be responsible if supplier ships the wrong item or items are damaged during shipping.
4) Refunds will be made within 3 days if your item is out of stock.
5) Meet ups are at my convenience. If you cannot make it to the mass meet-up, please opt for post.
6) I will not be responsible for lost mail. I will provide you with the tracking number (in cases of registered mail), place, date, time of postage as soon as I have posted your item.
7) Please do not join the spree if you are not comfortable with these terms.

Website: supplier spree. You can get a reference from www.skinfood.com.sg

Spree Cap: no cap only time deadline

Deadline: 26 May 2008, 10pm

Contact: Yinglin dot Zeng at gmail dot com

ATM transfers allowed (please state reference number, time, date).

2 Payments: 1st payment when you place your order. No payments no order. 2nd payment any top ups for exchange rate or local postage.

Exchange rate: supplier spree, prices all quoted in SGD

Distribution: Post or meet ups. If you cannot make it for the mass meetups, please opt for posts. As approved by the moderators, items not collected after 3 weeks upon arrival will be at my disposal.

Post: Spree-ers will get normal postage unless they opt of registered mail which will require additional payment. Additional payment will be based on the weight of their items. I will provide you with the tracking number (in cases of registered mail), place, date, time of postage as soon as I have posted your item.

Meet ups: 1 mass meet up. Hougang MRT station on 29th June 5.30pm.

Shipping: prices are inclusive of shipping to Singapore. Items will reach me by Singapore on the 28th June. No need for waiting.
Updates: Updates will be done via mass email to spree participants.

Updates to be done:
1) when spree closes and I've ordered the items. Will include a spreadsheet of spree-ers and the item breakdown. Please allow up to 3 days after spree closure for me to consolidate the information.
2) Since this is a very short spree, there will not be weekly updates.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Order Format:
LJ username/ real name
Email address:
Bank details: (name of bank, type of account, especially for interbank transfers)

Order item 1
Name:
URL:
Colour: Shade 1/ Shade 2
Size:
Qty:
Alternatives: (either different colour, different item or DNB)
Price in SGD:

Order item 2 (and so on)

Total number of items: (please count two if yo uare getting 2 of the same item)
Total price in SGD:

Payment
I-banking name:
Amount transferred:
Transaction reference:

Or for ATM transfers
Amount transferred:
Transaction reference:
Time: (must include time and date!!)

Please include all information in 1 (ONE) comment. For atm transfers, please delete your old post and post a new one to include both your ATM transfer details and your order.

Victoria Secrets Spree 4 (Open)

2008-04-18T11:35:24Z

75usd off with $250 spent.

Feedback: [+5/-0] 2nd spree in this community

Terms and conditions:

1) I do not take in an order if there's no payment by the time I close the spree.
2) I have the right to cancel the spree if the response is low.
3) I will not be responsible if merchant ships the wrong item or items are damaged during shipping. Print screens of the order that I make to the merchant will be attached to the spreadsheet of the consolidated order and will be sent out to all spree participants within 3 days of spree closure.
4) Please make sure that your items are in-stock and not back-ordered.
5) Refunds will be made within 3 days if your item is out of stock.
6) Meet ups are at my convenience. If you cannot make it to the mass meet-up, please opt for post.
7) I will not be responsible for lost mail. I will provide you with the tracking number (in cases of registered mail), place, date, time of postage as soon as I have posted your item.
8) Please do not join the spree if you are not comfortable with these terms.

Website: http://www.victoriassecret.com

Spree Cap: 250 usd

Deadline: 28 August 2008

Contact: Yinglin dot Zeng at gmail dot com

Payment:ATM transfers allowed (please state reference number, time, date). No Interbank transfers.

2 Payments: 1st payment when you place your order. No payments no order. 2nd payment any top ups for exchange rate or postage. (if necessary)

Exchange rate: 1 usd: 1.41 sgd (as quoted by moderators)

Distribution: Post or meet ups. If you cannot make it for the mass meetups, please opt for posts. As approved by the moderators, items not collected after 3 weeks upon arrival will be at my disposal.

Post: Spree-ers will get normal postage unless they opt of registered mail which will require additional payment. Additional payment will be based on the weight of their items. I will provide you with the tracking number (in cases of registered mail), place, date, time of postage as soon as I have posted your item.

Meet ups: 2 mass meet ups. One at Raffles Place MRT, one at Hougang MRT. Dates to be notified.

Shipping: Will be using the free $75 to offset international shipping, excess discount to be allocated proportionally according to the amount spent. Based on experience, international shipping arrives in 1-2 weeks.

Updates: Updates will be done via mass email to spree participants.

Updates to be done:
1) when spree closes and I've ordered the items. Will include a spreadsheet of spree-ers and the item breakdown, print screen of order and shipping charges/discount allocated. Please allow up to 3 days after spree closure for me to consolidate the information.
2) Weekly updates until shipment arrives. Even if I have no news, I'll still email to you and tell you there's no progress this week.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Order Format:
LJ username/ real name
Email address:
Bank details: (name of bank, type of account, especially for interbank transfers)

Order item 1
Name:
URL:
Colour:
Size:
Qty:
Alternatives: (either different colour, different item or DNB)
Price in USD:

Order item 2 (and so on)

Total number of items: (please count two if yo uare getting 2 of the same item)
Total price in USD:
Total amount in SGD= (price of item 1+ item 2+... ) *1.41

Payment
I-banking name:
Amount transferred:
Transaction reference:

Or for ATM transfers
Amount transferred:
Transaction reference:
Time:

Please include all information in 1 (ONE) comment. For atm transfers, please delete your old post and post a new one to include both your ATM transfer details and your order.

Coastal Scents 1 (Open)

2008-02-27T03:57:06Z

Get your makeup brushes, mineral makeups, and other makeup accessories at wholesale prices!!

Feedback: [+0/-0] I'm new here.

Terms and conditions:

1) I do not take in an order if there's no payment by the time I close the spree.
2) I have the right to cancel the spree if the response is low.
3) I will not be responsible if merchant ships the wrong item or items are damaged during shipping. Print screens of the order that I make to the merchant will be attached to the spreadsheet of the consolidated order and will be sent out to all spree participants within 3 days of spree closure.
4) Please make sure that your items are in-stock and not back-ordered.
5) Refunds will be made within 3 days if your item is out of stock.
6) Meet ups are at my convenience. If you cannot make it to the mass meet-up, please opt for post.
7) I will not be responsible for lost mail. I will provide you with the tracking number (in cases of registered mail), place, date, time of postage as soon as I have posted your item.
8) Please do not join the spree if you are not comfortable with these terms.

Website: http://www.coastalscents.com

Spree Cap: 150 USD or whatever the amount is when the deadline is up

Deadline: 15 March 08. Might open up another batch if the response is good.

Contact: Yinglin dot Zeng at gmail dot com

ATM transfers allowed (please state reference number, time, date). Interbank transfers allowed but all bank chargers are borne by spree-er.

2 Payments: 1st payment when you place your order. No payments no order. 2nd payment any top ups for shipping and postage. (if necessary)

Exchange rate: 1 usd: 1.47 sgd (as quoted by moderators)

Distribution: Post or meet ups. If you cannot make it for the mass meetups, please opt for posts. As approved by the moderators, items not collected after 3 weeks upon arrival will be at my disposal.

Post: Spree-ers will get normal postage unless they opt of registered mail which will require additional payment. Additional payment will be based on the weight of their items. I will provide you with the tracking number (in cases of registered mail), place, date, time of postage as soon as I have posted your item.

Meet ups: 2 mass meet ups. One at City Hall mrt station. One at Hougang Mrt station. Dates to be notified, but will be a weekend.

Shipping: Direct International shipping for this spree.

Estimated time to arrive is about 8 days. Based on previous spree experiences with other websites it usually takes about 1-2 weeks. Estimated shipping cost is about 50 usd (could be lower since brushes are lighter).

I will collect an initial shipping cost of $3 per item. Refunds and top ups will be done after I receive the actual shipping cost from the merchant. All shipping costs and costs arising from shipping (ie telephone bills to track missing shipments) will be shared between all spree-ers. Allocation of actual shipping costs will be based on amount spree-er ordered.

Actual Shipping cost= (amount spree-er order/ total amount ordered which is 150 usd)* total shipping cost

Updates: Updates will be done via mass email to spree participants.

Updates to be done:
1) when spree closes and I've ordered the items. Will include a spreadsheet of spree-ers and the item breakdown, print screen of order and shipping charges. Please allow up to 3 days after spree closure for me to consolidate the information.
2) Weekly updates until shipment arrives. Even if I have no news, I'll still email to you and tell you there's no progress this week.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Order Format:
LJ username/ real name
Email address:
Bank details: (name of bank, type of account, especially for interbank transfers)

Order item 1
Name:
URL:
Colour:
Qty:
Alternatives: (either different colour, different item or DNB)
Price in USD:

Order item 2 (and so on)

Total number of items: (please count two if yo uare getting 2 of the same item)
Total price in USD:
Total amount in SGD= (price of item 1+ item 2+... ) *1.47 +($3 *number of items)

Payment
I-banking name:
Amount transferred:
Transaction reference:

Or for ATM transfers
Amount transferred:
Transaction reference:
Time:

Please include all information in 1 (ONE) comment. For atm transfers, please delete your old post and post a new one to include both your ATM transfer details and your order.

kendra_zeng @ 2007-12-13T14:23:00

2007-12-13T06:24:44Z

I feel deliciously wicked.

Myths..

2007-12-03T15:10:04Z

I think this year is a year when I learn about a lot of things in life. "Growing up", "facing reality" they call it. Perhaps so, but it hurts. I cant really remember how many times I've cried this year but it's definately a lot more than usual. I am no longer the happy girl in the past, the happy girl who set up this blog when I was 15.

Tonight I'm hurting again. I'm crying. Because for the first time in my whole life I think the most important people in my life are just an image. I doubt, seriously doubt if they are real, whether I'm just liking the image I painted in my mind. Money I can live without, probably boyfriends as well. Tonight the people who hurt me are those whom I thought I could trust- my friends. Do I even have real friends anymore? Maybe I do have some, but I think the bulk of them never did care even though I did. None of them in that group cared enough to even remember my birthday, even after the exams. They have their bfs, their work, their holiday, I'm just very much forgettable. Am I angry? Perhaps..but I'm more hurt...because I thought you all were my friends as much as I am yours.

A part of me tells myself to let it go because that's life. In the real world, there's no real friends, that's why you have to stand on your two feet and dependent on yourself. People may appear to be your friend but backstab you in the end. Snakes in suits. Perhaps it's time to learn that lesson early before I start work. Perhaps friendship, like the concept of love is overrated and belongs to Disney. What's the use of having so many people on your facebook or friendster or whatever shit then? Right now I feel like deleting away my account and turn my back on the rest of the world. No interaction with anyone else so that no one can hurt me.

Selling...

2007-08-01T16:38:49Z

Lots of stuff to sell...

2007-07-10T03:57:16Z

Selling..

-Absolut Peach
"The Undomestic Goddess" by Sophie Kinsella
-Formal dresses
-Summer dresses
-Tops
-Korean skin care
-Shoes, jellies at $5!!!
-Hair care
-Accessories
-Miracle Perfume

-I hope it's ok to use you picture, I forgot what your name is, if you dont want me to put this up, just let me know. Thanks.

-Prices super nego for fast transactions, ie before 17th July
-In case of mulitple buyers, highest bidder wins. quick bid of less than 48 hours.
-Meet ups available
-Self collection available
-Will post out items within 3 days of payment
-email at yinglin dot zeng at gmail dot com
-My feedback [+20/0n/-0] >.< haven't been online shopping much....

kendra_zeng @ 2007-06-20T17:55:00

2007-06-20T10:04:17Z

So I did manage to create a rather beautiful tiramisu layer cake after all... on monday.

managed to get the cream to the right consistency... and managed to do the side details this time..

ran out of the chocolate flakes and had to use the 'good stuff' for the toppings instead. The chocolate shavings are Hershely's Special Dark chocolate, shaved from the chocolate bar.. hehe.. it was kinda fun doing that..

My manager ate it, and she said it was good enough to be sold. hehe.. In fact, she said for future focus groups, (with the approval from the lady boss), she might just outsource all the cake making to me.. so that I get to earn extra income.

Though life's been good recently, I'm entering one of my dark moods again. I suspect it's the backlash, since I havent been taking my medication for quite sometime. Been shopping, tried on many clothes, bought stuff, but I guess the high has worn off. All I want now is for you to be with me.

Sooo.. I've been baking..

2007-06-17T16:49:51Z

Exam's done with. Results are out. Didn't do very well.. but it was ok overall I guess.

I have been just relaxing, baking, doing part time jobs. I don't really want to take up a full time job because I think I should relax for the time being.

Let me show you the things I've baked this week:

Monday: 2 Strawberry, banana custard pies..

Nope.. I didn't cheat, everything's from scratch, even the pie base. I didn't use the store bought pie base, but followed a receipe for a egg yolk pie base from allreceipes.com

For Jingwen's bday on Friday, I tried the Tiramisu Layer Cake..

I wasn't really happy with the results because the sides aren't done well, and the layers kinda slanted when I was transporting it. And before completing the cake, I ran into some trouble with the cream because I over-whipped it, and it ended up forming butter (ie, the water and the oil layer separated), it was horrible. I really felt like crying then because the cake was good and I didn't want it to be destroyed. Luckily Zhumei was there to give me support, and we drove out to get more cream and prepared it again. Now I know, you cannot prepare the cream 2 hours beforehand, put it into the fridge and stir it again when you assemble the cake. Otherwise you will end up forming butter instead. Sighh... But I guess the overall result's still passable.

Went to Riverside Indo Rest, at Clarke Quay to have dinner with Jingwen, Zhumei and Crystal. The food's really good and cheap. $10++each for 6 course dinner. The chicken is really good. Sighh... I think I ate a lot this week. :(

The inner layer when it's cut open. Looks pretty ok just that I have to remember not to use M&Ms to trim the edges because the colour runs! ughh.. looks so artifical. -_-

I made it again for Father's Day. I don't have a big pic of it, and the pics of it aren't very clear, but today's result is really a lot better than the 1st try on Friday. The cream was good. But I can't figure out one thing. Because it's a layered cake I have to bake 3 separate layers of cake first and assemble them when they are cooled. The 1st try, the top most layer was a bit smaller than the 2 other layers. The thickest is the same just that the circumference is smaller. I thought it was because I used 2 different pans so there's some differences. Today, I used the same pan for all 3 layers. It took a lot longer. However, the top layer is still smaller than the other 2! I cant figure out why. It's not because I havent divided the mixture into 3 uneven portions either because I have measured them equally into 3 different bowls and made sure that they are the same before transferring them to the baking pan. I can't figure out why.. Sighh.. I think I shall try it one last time for Edina's church camp before moving on to Chocolate Banana Meringue next week...

not knowing your own mind

2007-06-05T16:42:43Z

First paper today. It was ok. I didn't have a brain freeze. I think I'll do ok. I hope. David called and wake me up and cheered me up by telling me to write my exam in pink sparkly pen so that it'll be fun. I would have gone for it, except that prof has this 10% component called professionalism, and I don't think using pink sparkly pen for the exam is going to be real professional. But it made me laugh and brightened my mood for the morning.

It was only after the paper when I realised that, I just tackled the easiest paper of the lot this term. Tax is going to be a killer, I don't even have the mood or concentration to listen to what the prof was saying during the consultation, it was this trapped feeling and I just need to get out of the school. Went for C appointment, thought through a lot of stuff, about things that I need to do short term, and my long term wants, about what do I really want. I'm still not sure, but Im trying to find out.

Studied some 3 chapters of Accounting Theory, then went into this sudden high. I don't really know what actually happened the last few hours actually. I was really happy and high that my exams are going to be over on friday, and that I can really enjoy myself. Get properly drunk, do whatever I want for maybe 1 week then work. Ive decided not to go for a normal internship or job this holiday and just do part time job so that I can have more time off. Perhaps it's because my friends are scared of me when I mentioned that I want to get properly drunk. Is it really that bad? I just want to forget things for a while and start things anew. No one seems to understand that. It seems like there's really no one who can identify with me here. And after that, I just sank again.

Why is it that there are so many people around when you are happy but none when you are down or sad?

kendra_zeng @ 2007-06-04T15:55:00

2007-06-04T07:59:44Z

I think after so long.. i'm finally feeling the stress of the impending exams. Specifically my Advanced Audit paper, which is tmr. 6 sides of cheat sheet is allowed. I only did 2 sides, 4 more to go, and I'm not sure what to put in. Not to mention tax on thursday. Went through the material once already, but I still cant do the corporate tax. Accounting Theory on Friday and I have not touched them yet. Im going to try to remain positive and calm, and damn it, Im going to sleep adequately before my exams so that I dont freeze up during the audit paper again.

i wonder..

2007-05-24T15:22:10Z

If you know your 3 inch heels hurt you and are already giving you blisters, and yet you took a 20 mins walk home resulting in super big blisters on the sole of your feet....
is that a form of self torture, self inflicting pain?

kendra_zeng @ 2007-05-24T23:10:00

2007-05-24T15:14:32Z

Sitting at the corner window seat of Coffee bean, in a chair that will eat you up, watching the Shenton Way crowd rushing out of their offices, looking at what the girls are wearing. Some had bad taste, but instead of coiling away in distaste, I am feeling rather indifferent. Just sitting here, watching the crowd, listening to sad Korean songs, even the sweet vanilla ice blended suddenly taste too overwhelming. I feel somehow fossilized, frozen in time. Just wasting time away despite knowing very well that I have tons to do. Part of me want to run and hide, part of me wants to be in touch with people. Perhaps it’s only times like these I can have both worlds. The appearance and feel of being surrounded by tons of people but in fact I am very detached from the rest. It is as if there’s a cling wrap around this brown chair that detaches me from the rest of the moving world. Even the air around me feels stagnant.

kendra_zeng @ 2007-05-23T14:11:00

2007-05-23T06:13:12Z

Unfortunately this doesn't work now.

One will never be happy

2007-05-21T09:15:31Z

I can't decide. Yday I've made up my mind that I need to get out and I'll do anything to get me enough money to get out of Sg asap.

Today, I've confirmed all the weekend jobs that I can do straight after my exams.

Now, I have to find a day job, from monday to friday. Finding the job isn't the problem. Prob is the timing.

Perhaps the prob is too many opportunities. I could write to korea to ask for an internship there because the application deadline isnt' over. But that's a bit tricky in terms of admin. I dont' mind skipping one week of school because of this. The prob is whether I still have the energy to focus and give my best when I'm there. Good thing is of course I'm in Korea. Bad thing is, I won't be able to play if I'm working there.

Applied for another one. Pay is great. Work is relatively fine not very challenging. It will end just about 1 week before my term starts. Ideally of course, I would want 2 weeks of holiday.

After all these, I found one internship that is very very interesting and I really like it. It would of course encompass whatever I've learnt, make my resume shine. But the pay isnt very great and if I take it up, it means I start right after my exams and work all the way up till the next term starts. I dont know if my mind can take it. But then, it's a fantastic opportunity, and I would kinda hate to let it go without a fight.

Aiyahhh.. I want everything. Exciting, pays well, and allows me to have a holiday. Perhaps I'm asking too much.

kendra_zeng @ 2007-05-20T11:39:00

2007-05-20T03:47:03Z

Gorgeous weather today. Makes me feel like going for one of those spring/summer picnic/beer parties in Korea. I don't want to be in school. Don't want to be stuck in a lonely GSR desperately trying to do my work. I really hate modified term. Perhaps it's because I'm not strong enough and because I get lonely really easily. Without anyone beside me, I can't do anything besides wanting to just hole up in my room and stare into space then passing out and sleeping the day away. Seriously need a break after this. I dont care if it's Korea or anywhere else, I need to get out of the country for more than 1 week. Without anything to worry about, and just doing whatever I like. With perhaps one or 2 close friends beside me. So if Korea is somehow impossible, I don't care if it's Thailand, Hk or Aussie, or even Malaysia.. haha.. I just need to get out .

Perhaps all the happiness and good luck that I have stored up have depleted. I really think that going on a good holiday or just going anywhere else, charges up your happiness level. Then it's the disgusting, stressful times in school, at work that slowly depletes them. After coming back, it was hectic school, then internship, then school again. non stop. I've ran out of "happy-fuel". I'm just mopping around in school, trying to find a last bit in me to finish fighting the last 2 weeks fo school. I just don't want to do everything. Everything seems to be down. I can't study, I can't work, I can't talk, I can't sleep too much either. Slowly, I've noticed that even my self confidence have gone down. I dont' walk the way I used to walk, with vigour and confidence. I'm just walking really slowly and taking mini mini grandmother steps now. I suppose I shld be comforted to know that the end is near. Then I can recharge my happy fuel again.

Need to improve my korean vocab....

2007-05-19T06:40:15Z

I am upset.

This morning when I was crossing the road to go for my class. This little korean boy barely up to my hips, just bumped into me. I didn't say anything, figured that it was just an accident. We went into the same lift. And there he was standing at the other side of the lift and staring angrily at me, mumbling in korean.. couldnt' hear what he was mumbling except something like saying that I was bad. What the hell! You are the one who bumped into me from behind. I didn't press the matter, and there you are assuming that you can just scold me in korean. I was pretty pissed about it. And I wanted to scold him that I'm your elder, that it's your fault and you are in no position to scold me in korean! What the fuck.. I couldn't say it out. I couldn't even scold a 7 year old in korean. The only curse words that I know in korean are like "fuck you and bitch" and that's a bit much for a 7 year old boy. How come I never get to learn any other korean swear words? My korean teachers didn't teach me, and my korean friends, the guys refused to teach me, the girls... well those words just never came up.

I need to learn more swear words man!

Want to scold people properly. I need to learn how to scold people. Stupid cocky korean little kid. Think you know korean very power ah? Smack you then you know! I'm a decade older than you, I'm your elder how dare to do this to me! Next time I see you, I'll scold you upside down! arghhhh...

미안해요...

2007-05-16T12:43:39Z

After thinking for 2 days, I'm regretting having sent out a particular email at 2am.

I just hope it's not the biggest mistake in my life.

A new method to die

2007-05-15T05:31:58Z

Oral sex causes throat cancer

Your Girlfriends are the best!

2007-05-12T05:18:01Z

All men are pigs, unless they are gay..
which makes them semi-pigs...

I love my girlfriends!!!!!!

Negative

2007-05-08T09:35:19Z

Everything seems to be just going downhill. Tax planning presentation was a disaster. My grades are disgusting. I can't finish my readings. I have totally no motivation to do anything. I'm broke. I'm fat. I'm sick. My new hair looks horrible. Exams are in 4 weeks. I'm so fucking dead for tax. Class participation sucks. Tons of readings for AT. Everything not done. I cant do anything. There's no one to talk to. Dont really want to talk to anyone either. Aint talking to David. I can't sleep, I can't work, I can't eat properly either. Can't sleep properly because I've been having totally off the meter weird dreams. How weird? E.g. Yday, I dreamt that I was trying to help someone give birth on an airplane. There was so much blood, you cant imagine. They changed tons of blood soaked blankets, until it's able to fill 2 washing machines full. So much blood that I feel grossed out and ran out to throw up. After all that bleeding, someone was saying she isn't fully dilated yet. After all that bleeding, until the blankets aren't red anymore, the water bag havent' broken, the baby's not delivered. Then they radioed for help and had hospital people on standby to do an immediate C section in the airport. Geeshh.. with this kinda of dreams, how the fuck am I supposed to rest?

Wanna run and hopefully i'll twist my ankle while running on my 3 inch heels, roll down the stairs and break my neck.

Mod term is ruining my life

2007-05-02T14:07:06Z

Man.. I'm working myself into a full blown fury. Why? Because I realised that I'm very limited in my options this summer because of the stupid accounting modified term. There's still about 2 months before this stupid term ends. And I D-I-S-L-I-K-E all the 3 advanced accounting modules. argh argh argh..

I'm running out of money. Because, essential stuff are bloody expensive, up keeping your looks are not cheap either, I took too many cab rides because I was late and it wasn't worth it at all because I got stuck in the stupid traffic jam. I'm running out of concealer and I would have to squeeze money out again. I don't know how I eat until I spend so much money on bloody food.

I do not want to start selling my stuff. But looks like I have to. I need a bloody job that pays damn well. Otherwise I'll be damn broke after paying for the air ticket to Korea ALONE! Air ticket only! Not even taking accomodations into account! But I can't take up a lot of jobs because of the stupid mod term. I need something to plump up my resume, allows me to learn Korean and earn big bucks. Shit.. the only thing that could fit into that bill was what I did last summer. But I can't do it now because of MOD TERM!

I think I should start looking for Korean kids to teach. But darn.. am thinking about it. Not easy to find Korean kids ok? If anyone got lobang must tell me. It's good for the children and me! I can understand them, and they can understand me. We can even sing Korean kiddy songs together. mwahah...

ahh... broke broke, I have things to do but I can't concentrate! And I'm getting fat. POO~

Is it possible to sell my fats away? I charge cheap rates.

kendra_zeng @ 2007-05-01T19:11:00

2007-05-01T11:24:33Z

Such beautiful pictures. I love cherry blossoms.. and I love the way she captured the flowers, the lighting and everything is perfect. It's just like that night when I went there to view them with David. I wish there's one with the petals floating in the wind, that's even better. Sighh.. I wanna see them again. The photographer's work is q good, the way she take those mini photos that looks like models are actually taken in real life. Cool eh? More here.